Living in the Ashes

Welcome to What’s Helping Today, a newsletter about the everyday work of staying alive on earth — written by author and journalist Sandy Ernest Allen.

Hey all,

As I mentioned some months back, my life has been struck by an unexpected and devastating grief. My day-by-day remains hard, some days harder than others.

I’ve been consuming media on the topic of grief itself lately, some of which I wanted to share.

I thought this conversation was very moving …

Per the recommendation of one of my talented mental health-type professionals, I’ve been listening to this …

In it, the author — who’s worked with countless people as they’ve survived grief — describes an ancient Scandinavian practice of taking a year off during grief, tending the fires. This was called “living in the ashes.”

I’ve been lately contemplating how I’m in such a period, perhaps, living in the ashes. I’ve been trying to be honest with myself (and others, as is necessary) about this, as grief’s affected my daily life, my ability to function, so forth. I do sense that the more I accept my premise, the more I can actually walk the path that grief is showing me here. And the more I resist it, the harder this all will feel.

I again wanted to recommend the documentary about Andrea Gibson, for those who’ve not yet seen it (you can do an Apple TV+ free trial). The film is one I highly recommended, to all humans. Here’s a post I wrote about it, awhile ago:

Most days, I am drowning in sorrow.

I work hard to keep swimming, anyway.

To anyone who resonates with what I’m saying: I’m sending you much compassion.

If you ever want to write me — perhaps tell me What’s Helping Today, for you — please do.

What’s Helping Today … I’d pitched the notion of a free ‘seed and cutting swap’ to my editor Michael at the Catskill Crew newsletter … and he totally ran with it …

The event was yesterday. WOW was I stunned by the turnout and response. Just astounding, peoples’ generosity and creativity …

Huge thanks to the Hudson Valley Seed Co., who donated TONS of seeds!

Some folks had hand-made envelopes for their seeds (adorable!).

I took this fig tree cutting home, which I’m so excited about … amongst other treasures.

Also Helping Today … My first seedlings have sprouted, under their grow lights. Not much to look at but always gets me excited (and hopeful!), the start of another growing season.

ICYMI, I shared a seed starting 101 for my latest Catskill Crew column.

Sending love,
Sandy

Thanks for reading What’s Helping Today, a newsletter by me — author and journalist Sandy Ernest Allen.

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