This Year

As in, I'm gonna get through this one, if it kills me ...

Sandy Allen
December 29, 2025

Welcome to What’s Helping Today, a newsletter about the everyday work of staying alive on earth — written by author and journalist Sandy Ernest Allen.

Hey folks,

I mostly wanted to do an end-of-year retrospective of my work for you all …

But first, a bit of housekeeping:

My first-ever Sustaining Contributors (giving $5 and above type) gathering is going to be a closed Zoom coming up … soon. I’m thinking it’ll be a short group meditation I’ll guide, and then a Q&A, AMA style. If you want to join us, consider giving to my Buy Me a Coffee at that $5 a month or more level.

I’ll send the Zoom details out to those of you this does apply to. If you want to submit a question for me to address during the Zoom itself, feel free to write in. Also here again is that new survey for you Sustaining Contributors … which you’re still welcome to fill out. If anyone has questions or suggestions about any of this, contact me here.

Okay. I’m gonna re-share some pieces I’ve published this year, amongst other professional highlights:

Like this one that published just the other week after roughly five years of work …

Burn Harry Burn: Reckoning With My Harry Potter Fandom as a Trans Person

During the spring of 2020, as the world locked down and people were dead and dying and breaking apart and mourning and afraid and hiding, the British author J.K. Rowling decided to publish an open …

lithub.com/burn-harry-burn-reckoning-with-my-harry-potter-fandom-as-a-trans-person

It’s vying with this one for my favorite essay this year:

The Delicious, Life-Saving Joys of the ‘Trad Trans’ Lifestyle

For a trans, queer and rural guy like me, growing my own food is part of how I stay alive

www.eater.com/food-culture/888780/tradwife-lifestyle-trans-queer-table

I was grateful to get to write for an outlet such as this about a topic such as this …

Avoiding Public Bathrooms Damaged My Bladder—Now, As a Trans Man, I’m Finally Letting Go

Inside the emotional and physical toll of holding it in.

www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a64768136/holding-my-pee-damaged-my-bladder-a-37-year-old-trans-man-im-finally-learning-to-let-go

This year I was also grateful to get to appear on some excellent podcasts, namely:

Sandy and the Silence

Podcast Episode · Proxy with Yowei Shaw · 08/26/2025 · 32m

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sandy-and-the-silence/id1746433334?i=1000723565757

And:

I was proud to get to speak out in other ways against transphobic bullshit, as in these pieces …

Brown University’s ‘deal’ with the Trump administration betrays trans students for federal research funding - The Boston Globe

While nearly 40 percent of Brown students do not identify as straight, and in an era when transgender people already face disproportionate discrimination, the university has chosen to prioritize money over its own students and alumni, writes one member of the Class of 2009.

www.bostonglobe.com/2025/08/04/metro/brown-university-trans-students-sacrificed

As A Brown University Alumnus, Let Me Say: Fuck This — Assigned

A Brown alumnus recalls his time at the ‘gayest’ university and calls for the Brown community to stand united against the Trump deal.

www.assignedmedia.org/breaking-news/brown-university-alumnus

And this first one I did for Assigned …

Diagnoses like “Gender Dysphoria” May Not Be Medically Real — But They Sure Are Politically So — Assigned

In Skrmetti, the court’s legal logic hinges upon a medical disorder, which has never been proven to exist— an “open secret” that applies to all psychiatric diagnoses.

www.assignedmedia.org/breaking-news/gender-dysphoria-diagnosis-psychiatry-mad-rights-movement

This year I was thrilled to start writing a monthly Garden Report column for the popular local Catskill Crew newsletter … ICYMI, here was my newest one, on seeds!

I also launched a new “Sandy’s Recipe Club” feature here on this very newsletter … as was explained more in this, its first installment …

Welcome to Sandy's Recipe Club!

Big Kristy Energy ...

whats-helping-today.beehiiv.com/p/welcome-to-sandy-s-recipe-club

Here was the latest one, from just the other day … on stews and soups!

Soups and Stews and Nostalgia — Oh My!

Sandy's Recipe Club #4

whats-helping-today.beehiiv.com/p/soups-and-stews-and-nostalgia-oh-my

After which I did chuckle at this soup-related email I got, its subject line …

Last but not least: My latest, this short one for Assigned Media …

Surviving the Holidays as an Estranged Person — Assigned

You may struggle over the holidays if you’re estranged from your family, but you are not alone.

www.assignedmedia.org/breaking-news/estranged-lonely-christmas-survival-trans-lgbtq

I’ve been pleased by the lovely response this piece has gotten, some of which I thought I’d share …

“In my mind’s eye, my being out as trans now is like a chair holding shut a door of my prior estrangement.” This is such an apt distillation of my own experience, even as a cis queer person. It’s a blessing that also feels like a shared scar: Grief for our pain, gratitude for your perfect words.

“As lots of us learn the hard way: Some family would rather mourn a lie about who you were than get to know the real you.” Spot on. If being my true authentic self was too sinful for them, then that’s their loss. I don’t want to live as a facade, to people please and enable their bigotry.

Thank you for sharing. Today is another holiday alone. The reasons have compounded again this year, but this feels like the better choice. I am ok, but there is comforting in reading experiences that rhyme.

Great essay from @sandyernestallen.bsky.social, expressing a sentiment that I’m very familiar with. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Whether or not it’s difficult or painful, you are well within your rights to cut off your family permanently. Nobody in this world is owed access to you.

Finally took a few minutes to read this and it was well worth it. Thanks for sharing, Sandy.

Also I’ll say I found it to be careful with how it discusses trauma. I felt comforted and relieve dreading it, rather than overwhelmed.

Thank you for this, my introduction to your work. I just ordered your book about your uncle and am sure I will find it helpful, too.

Comments like the above: Truly mean so much.

And hey: If you’ve never read my book, it’s never too late …

This year I also started soliciting tips directly from you all … and I’ve said but to repeat, it’s really amazed me how generous folks have been, both in the dollars sense, and the kind things you’ve said while contributing.

Sending gratitude to this new supporter, from just this morning …

Random but THIS also happened earlier today, ha. Afterwards I pretty much immediately logged the fuck out … Logging out is: What’s Helping Today …

I already had this song in my head lately so no doubt will be covering it now …

Here’s to making it through this year (if it kills us),
Sandy

p.s. Re-sharing this, just in case …

My Best Advice for the *Worst* Days

"for when the pain's above a 6"

whats-helping-today.beehiiv.com/p/my-best-advice-for-the-worst-days

Thanks for reading What’s Helping Today, a newsletter by me — author and journalist Sandy Ernest Allen. If you were forwarded this message, WHT is free; you can subscribe here.