'what made you start caring about trans rights?'

Welcome to What’s Helping Today, a newsletter about the everyday work of staying alive on earth, written by author and journalist Sandy Ernest Allen.

Hi subscribers,

So! I’ve got another, longer post for you all in the works but I’ve paused it for now because…

As some of you are perhaps aware (in part because lots of you have recently subscribed to this newsletter as a result…):

I had a post on Bluesky go super viral. In brief, I’ve had thousands of people from all over the world sharing their stories with me:

I for sure didn’t expect this response and it’s absolutely overwhelmed me… in many senses. For one, I can’t even load all the answers at this point (my replies just stall out eventually). My inbox is also a mess with overflow. I’ve been captivated by all this I admit. I’ve stood or sat around reading this immensely wonderful-and-hope-inducing flood of replies. I’ve reposted and responded to just a choice few (still a lot).

In general, and this a journalist’s dream: I’ve received so many stories I can’t read them all — Bluesky-not-even-loading-them-all notwithstanding. Much as I’d love to, I just don’t have the time nor bandwidth right now, to process all that’s being said to me. Maybe eventually I’ll try to. I assume I might write about this whole experience, in some fashion or another. (Again, something else I’m now contemplating…)

There are just so many people sharing — many sharing long, heartfelt stories. I’ve received stories in so many languages. I’ve had a companion window open with google translate, to plug posts into, from Norwegian, Portuguese, so forth.

People have mentioned so many particular moments in pop culture. They’ve mentioned books, movies, TV series, online groups, niche fandoms. I’ve gotten stories from people who know trans people in really every and any thinkable way, to whatever extent — including plenty of parents, spouses, siblings, kids. I’ve heard from plenty of people who don’t know a single trans person — and they still care about us and our rights.

I’ve heard from SO MANY who were radicalized by all the hate itself — and not in the direction the transphobes want. People repeatedly mentioned Right-wing politicians, in this and many countries, and all the obvious, emboldened fear-and-hate-mongering. People told about specific horrific hate crimes or bigoted laws that were their catalysts. People have credited the actions of prominent transphobes — especially Rowling. Many described instances of prejudice from their personal lives that opened their eyes — workplace bullies, rude neighbors or families.

Many people have expressed a hate of transphobes because they were bullied and so they hate bullies, period. Lots of references to Steve Rogers:

Again, it’s all more than I can consume properly, let alone summarize well yet. It’s just a lot, generally, for someone like me who does like to people please. For someone like me who is a perfectionist. For someone like me who hates setting down an incomplete task (let alone a mountain of notifications).

For someone who is — as I am — quite sensitive, often overwhelmed, easily angered, already so wrung out by these times, by all the cruelty and sorrow, by the endless chore that is of staying alive (let alone something resembling functional and … working) while also being a trans American.

But yeah, this whole experience has definitely given me unexpected … hope.

A few more observations I thought I’d share with you all, then I’ll stop for now:

Only a couple of people have been jerks to me (from what I’ve seen). Which astonishes me. As I’ve written about recently on here, being online/visible while trans has its benefits, sure, but it has total downsides.

I was only told to “repent” by one account with a burning cross for an avatar, in a message using words like “biological” and “sin.” One other person called me (and all trans people) “mentally ill,” though they seemed supportive of our rights anyway. Again, given the thousands of cis people (and others, whose responses I welcomed too) saying to stuff to me — all the reposts, replies, and emails I’ve received — that’s pretty amazing.

To my trans/gnc readers: If you like, I suggest browsing through the replies to the post (it’s all public). It feels good, to me anyway, swimming through this seemingly never-ending stream of how people learned to care about trans people and our rights (or that they never had to learn at all). Despite having had every imaginable starting place...

As I said in a follow-up post to my original one, the only sorta annoying responses I’ve gotten were a handful of folks who’ve seemed to take issue with my question’s premise.

If you think my asking this question is “annoying,” “disturbing, “weird,” “odd”, well, wait until you hear about the horrors being done … to trans people.

If anyone cis STILL thinks this very conversation is some waste of time, might I suggest you follow David Lynch’s advice:

To everyone who’s shared or responded to the post: THANK YOU.

Feel free to keep sharing and responding… I delight in it all. But also it’s not just for me, it’s for everyone else reading all these responses, and what they mean to people. I’ve heard from plenty of trans/gnc people how much seeing all this does mean.

I feel particular gratitude to those responses that aren’t … flattering at all. Stories of having been “arseholes” or having had “shitty” views, once. Stories of growth. Your vulnerability and generosity astounds me.

YOU ALL are What’s Helping Today.

Also helping today: Had some trans neighbors over IRL Sunday afternoon, which was lovely, and we enjoyed some excellent lemon bars (recipe).

Re-sharing a few posts (especially for new subscribers):

This recent re-introduction to this very newsletter, its premise, my work, so on.

Some general purpose advice for cis allies who want to know what they can do.

Some advice in particular for adults who know trans/gnc minors.

This response to a concerned parent of a college-aged trans daughter.

Alright. I am gonna try to take a break from reading all the replies and emails, at some point soon here, I swear.

I am gonna try to follow my own best advice and log off, take a break. Care for my own mental health (so to speak). Get grounded, get back to reality. I want to go prep my garden beds for spring planting. I want to focus on the people/plants/deadlines that actually need my attention.

Sending you all love and strength.

With gratitude,
Sandy

p.s. Random but to put this ask here as welll: If you’re a (trans/gnc) data journalist and you’d like to try to collaborate with me on whatever I might eventually write (about all these replies and what they might reveal), please reach out.

p.p.s. In general, given the clusterfuck that is my mentions, the best way to reach me is via my website.

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