Regarding Politicians Like Pete ...

Welcome to What’s Helping Today, a newsletter about the everyday work of staying alive on earth, written by author and journalist Sandy Ernest Allen.

Hi all,

I admit I’ve been very busy lately and overwhelmed and tired and heartbroken … as a few stories going on in the news have been personally very hard for me. One, the Brown one. (Here again was my Assigned Media essay about my time as a closeted Brown student and here was my Boston Globe op-ed [here’s a gift link]).

Second is the one involving Pete Buttigieg.

I met Pete Buttigieg once, at a fundraiser for his DNC chair run. He was still known as “Mayor Pete” then. (He and my spouse were college classmates.) I shook his hand and we shared some brief, amiable conversation. This was at some fancy Manhattan apartment. I have no idea if he’d remember me.

Given the news of late, I’m very disappointed in Pete — from one LGBTQ person to another. For those who’ve not heard: Pete has been saying mildly anti-trans rhetoric into microphones lately —  and recently doubled down. I sense he like some other (cis) (white) democratic politicians are attempting to figure out how much they can sell out trans people and our rights in order to gain the favor of other potential voters who … hate trans people.

Given he’s for example gay married I (like many) find this to be an ironic and dispiriting position for Pete to take — and unwise. But as regards folks like him — and like Sarah McBride to use that other obvious-to-me example — we see a similar trend. By this I mean, a person belonging to a persecuted minority identity who, having obtained however much power gains the ability to punch down — and takes it. They do so to gain favor with the oppressor for example, who in this case are, one assumes, institutional Democrats, powerful donors, paid consultants.

Pete is a savvy politician, I will give him that, so his attempt lately to make this (impossible) both-sides play re: trans rights, his garbled messing, is perhaps confusing enough to fool some. I saw some in the press exonerating him last week, as others listening to the same interview seemingly were still slamming him:

In short: I think Pete’s strategy is the wrong one … both ethically and tactically.

As a trans person and as a longtime nerd who thinks about progressive politics in our nation’s history and presently: I appreciate, in contrast, democrats like Gov. Pritzker and NYC mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani and the congressional candidate in Illinois, Kat Abughazaleh — who do not mince their words when it comes to trans rights. Kat was so “fuck you” to transphobes she made a shirt about it — and I was so pleased I bought one before I could stop myself.

These politicians seem to share my progressive values: They seemingly care about human rights, not just donor dollars or what tested best in the focus group. They instead speak from the heart and loudly. They speak up for all those who are being persecuted and harmed right now — like trans people, my community. We are being attacked relentlessly by the other side, and we’re barely being defended.

When I hear a queer politician like Pete sell out our mutual rights, all I hear is: This clueless/craven privileged person doesn’t care about trans rights — and he’s still not gotten with my present, as a trans voter. He sure doesn’t care about my vote, for one.

This is personally a bummer to me, for the aforementioned reasons. So I’m calling him out, Pete himself. I’m calling out Buttigieg and Newsom and all politicians like them: Go run as a Republican if you want to run on the transphobia ticket. If you want to lead my party, say “trans rights” and with your full chest.

My Assigned essay reminiscing about my years at Brown contained a line at the very end wherein I grazed Pete, not even by name (just in a link referencing initial recent remarks, pre-double-down). An old college friend responded supportively when I shared my piece with the group chat … Then he privately texted and asked if I would engage in some ‘good faith debate’ about Pete, who he’s a fan of. I get it; some people are fans of Mayor Pete’s.

When my friend wanted to debate, I responded, in so many words: No my friend, I can’t and I won’t debate trans rights today; I named some reasons. I was especially overwhelmed that day, and angry, and fried (my Boston Globe op-ed had just published, amongst many other things I had going on). I added, I love you. A few days later I sent an apology for being reactive, which no doubt I was … and like, I shared a few links, including to this very newsletter. Like this one and this one.

My friend did reply saying he would read what I’d sent. He was apologetic, sincerely and clearly. We haven’t been in the best of touch these last ~15 years since graduation and we weren’t ever super close, back when; but we had an intimacy because of our shared group. I’d guess why he felt safe asking to debate that day and why I felt safe reacting with my no … and why he probably felt safe responding back and so forth … is back when we were mere puppies at Brown, we had like, a million conversations about a million things, including tough things and uncomfortable things, and we always knew how to come back together even if we didn’t always see it all eye to eye. Because there’s love there.

But it is hard … how do we navigate such matters — especially speaking across these sometime divides. As trans and cis people, as people of whatever two genders, two races, two classes, two positions in whatever web of identities … as friends, however close, however old, however out of touch … who are experiencing two very different realities especially nowadays and who can be in very different moods therefore (another frequent themes of my writings).

I said to my college friend the other day, like: If Pete himself wants a trans person to talk to about all this (in private, even) … he does technically know me and he’s welcome to get in touch.

Here are some more links and such … for anyone genuinely wanting to learn more re: trans people and sports (in ‘good faith’):

To recap our present situation: The anti-trans propagandists, they figured out long ago the “sports and fairness” type anti-trans rhetoric sells to voters, to cis people … and transphobia in general sells … That’s why they go hard on it. Same with implying trans people are predators in bathrooms; it’s both false and it’s used merely to feed folks’ fears of people like me.

That’s it.

Cis folks meanwhile tend to underestimate how normal transphobia is, and how all-pervasive (as these thousands of replies underscored, in my view). Again, even Democrats for the most part don’t bother to respond when trans people are attacked relentlessly — even when hundreds of millions were spent attacking us last fall by the Right, a winning strategy for them.

The anti-trans propagandists themselves are just people who hate trans people and/or those who are under this spell (however asleep they are to this reality). Here’s a podcast I recommend explaining the coordinated anti-trans propaganda effort:

As I sometimes repeat … it’s just rich assholes who want more climate change and shit oftentimes — those funding this evil, divisive brainwashing.

The truth is: During this era, trans people, like me, our lives, our futures, they’re under attack, in a real way. Anybody who is joining with transphobic bullies in repeating the lines rich bigots paid to put in your heads: You have to cut that shit out and now.

I often repeat: It’s not your fault if you fell for transphobia … but I do invite you to do better, starting today.

Regarding trans people and sports … Re-sharing this phenomenal episode unpacking all trans-people-and-sports hateful misinformation. Please watch it if you haven’t yet and especially if you still have questions, however quietly. Share it. Send it to anyone who needs to watch it too:

Or, read Parker Molloy on these topics:

Or, if you want even more — including studies, etc. — please check out Julia Serano’s great resource here:

I also frequently re-share the Tested podcast — an excellent mini-series about the history of the whole past and present of women’s sports and gender/sex tests governing such. Only six episodes; super well-made show. Highly recommended:

I do think Dems like Pete perhaps underestimate just how upset fellow queer people would be by his dabbling with anti-trans rhetoric … or he doesn’t care what we think. Either way, not great!

Here were some words others have said that made me nod my head:

For more of my own words re: cis allies who act like they’re liberal … but who are really watering down fascists’ anti-trans bullshit for them: Check out my recent appearance on Cancel Me, Daddy.

What’s Helping Today: Two people did donate to my Buy Me a Coffee last week (thank you!!) after I was observing aloud online that new donations had ceased (🥹) ever since I’ve floated the possibility I might be launching a paywalled bonus version of this newsletter soonish (per my reader/fan/follower survey, which you can still take if you want).

In general: Given everything going on, it will take me time and bandwidth to launch something members-only of sufficient quality … I’ll maybe even need some money to pay other creatives.

So, your support meanwhile is still very much appreciated, all to say. If you enjoy or appreciate this newsletter or my other work and you can spare a few bucks: I hope you’ll tip me via my Buy Me a Coffee page. You can even sign up there to support me monthly. Every little bit helps, truly! As does knowing you care about me doing what I do.

I’m figuring out how to make my career sustainable, given how hard I work but for how little actual money I earn. So! If you can help me out and you want me to keep going in this way: Thank you.

My best,
Sandy

p.s. Consider as well perhaps forwarding this newsletter to a friend? Or sharing it with your followers, wherever you share things? I really appreciate your help in spreading word about What’s Helping Today and helping to grow this little sometime community of readers … (Perhaps, as some survey respondents said they’d want, a paywalled something I do eventually launch may include some sort of Discord access or something, for those interested? Again TBD.)

p.p.s. Re-linking my updated announcements page where I’ve posted some of my latest — including all about my new book reviews project and what we’re looking for (book recommendations and/or book review pitches [the latter is a paid opportunity]) … As I announced this week on Bluesky: I’m excited to publicly share such details as Maris Kreizman and I are collaborating in coordinating this — and for Lit Hub!!! We’ve also set a September 1 deadline. Again, find all details here.

p.p.p.s. I’m encouraging anyone interested to please enroll in my upcoming writing workshop. It’s going to be on Sunday afternoons online this fall … If anyone has questions about the class, feel free to write me via my site. If you know any nonfiction writers who may be interested, I hope you’ll share the listing with them or consider sharing wherever you share things. I appreciate your help in spreading word!

p.p.p.p.s. Huge thanks to everybody who read and said nice things about my first Garden Report … 🐌🍺! I’m again just so excited to be contributing to the Catskill Crew! I’ve gotten some great questions for next month’s column already. Figure the next one will come out sometime in early September! Thanks for reading! 🌱 

This has been What’s Helping Today! If you were forwarded this message, you can subscribe here for free. Here again is the page to support me with a tip or a monthly donation via Buy Me a Coffee. Sincerely grateful for your help!!!